From a young age, until a probably-not-young-enough age, I was a committed star-wisher. I don’t remember ever being convinced of the stars’ wish-granting powers, but I was definitely open to the possibility that it might bring me what I wanted… So sure, why not?
My wishing was very formulaic:
- Identify the brightest star in the sky with a single heavenwards glance. (It’s got to be the first star you see that you wish on, so the single glance is important. Obviously.)
- Say the wishing rhyme, as featured in Disney’s (old) Pinocchio: Star light, star bright, first star I see tonight, I wish I may, I wish I might, have this wish I wish tonight. (It can be muttered and/or whispered under your breath in case of public wishing. Not that I’ve ever done this in public. Obviously.)
- Make a wish. Don’t forget to say “please”. Everyone knows it’s the original magic word.
- All of this should be done whilst staring unblinkingly at the chosen star. Am I making sure I don’t lose sight of that all-important first-spotted star? Am I staring the star down into wish-granting submission? No idea. I don’t make the rules. Not consciously, anyway.
The wishes varied in theme and gravity as I got older, but I did make some wish or another pretty much every night for a solid few years in my teens. I was very disgruntled when I arrived in Birmingham as a freshly minted student and discovered (what one tutor brilliantly described as) the baked-bean fug that frequently coated the night sky over the city. Not a star to be seen most evenings, never mind wished on, through all that lovely orange smog.
Seeking out wishing stars was a habit I eventually grew out of, as I found more contentment in my life, and more confidence in my agency over it. It became a very occasional indulgence, sometimes in desperate moments, sometimes when I was feeling particularly high on some hope or another, sometimes just because an especially twinkly one caught my eye, and, y’know, why not?
The latter happened yesterday morning. I (very unintentionally) woke up around 6am, as the sky was starting to lighten, and went to my bedroom window for some air. The star that demanded my attention was so huge and bright, I all but rubbed my bleary eyes in disbelief as I did a genuine double-take. I actually wondered if it was a planet, although I’ve never seen one of those so large and luminous before either. I should ask my brother, he’ll know.
I stood and stared, sleepily, at this magnificent maybe-star for a few minutes. It was dazzling; I was transfixed. (“Starstruck”, one could even- no? Sorry. Bad.) It occurred to me after a while that this was definitely a prime wishing star candidate, if ever I’d seen one. Of course, at nearly thirty years of age, I’m far too old to be believing in such things. Obviously.
But then… If there’s one thing I do believe in with certainty, it’s the vast unknowability of our universe. Which is to say, all I know, is that we don’t know. Much at all, in the grand scheme of things. If something has not been actively disproven by good, solid science, I’m open to most possibilities. Stars? Wishes? Willing events into existence with intention alone? Probably not. But not definitely not. So… why not?
Mind made up, I initiated intimidating purposeful eye contact with my star, and spoke the words of the rhyme into the early morning silence. Star light, star bright… I began to think of things to wish for. First star I see tonight… It had better be good. That was a whopper of a star, just imagine the wishing power in that thing. I wish I may, I wish I might… Creative/career success? Have this wish… Or something more personal, maybe? I’d dedicated a disproportionate number of star wishes to my love life in my younger youth…
I wish tonight.
But what do I wish tonight?*
My eyes started to water as I continued to hesitate. And then I blinked, conceding the stellar staring contest. The problem wasn’t that there were so many things I wanted to ask for, I couldn’t settle on just one. It was sort of the reverse, actually. I was casting around for worthy wishes, I realised, because there isn’t anything in my life I would want cosmic intervention to change. That’s not to say my life is perfect, or I have no aspirations for it. But I am content on my path; it feels full of promise these days, and I’m curious to see where it takes me. Or, rather, where I take it.
Something I have learned in recent years is that the things (or situations) we think will make us happiest are very often not what we need or even want in the long run. Thank GOD the Universe ignored most of my impassioned astral pleas aged 18 or 21 or 25. How different my life would be, and very much for the worse, if my every wish had been the stars’ command. For all its tendency to run amok, my wildest imagination will simply never have the capacity to invent anything half as rich or interesting as real life, with all the innumerable twists and turns that it has brought, and will continue to bring, my way. It is, after all, impossible to account for the people you haven’t met and the conversations you haven’t had and the experiences you haven’t experienced.
I think it’s so important to have dreams (of any kind, or scale) and actively chase them into reality — but also to be open to allowing your dreams to change and evolve as life does likewise. What, I thought, is the point of wishing for a future for which I have no context? How can I possibly know what will serve me best in a month or a year or five years? So much better to pursue the things that bring joy and fulfilment to the person I am right now and just… take it from there.
I stood a little longer at the window — because looking at the stars is a thing that brings me joy — and whilst I mulled all of this over in the peace of the pre-dawn stillness, I thought of a beautiful phrase I keep coming across recently, which seemed to sum up it all up very nicely: what is meant for you will not pass you by.
Your life is, and will continue to be, exactly what it’s supposed to be. You are always in the right place at the right time, for your story. Every character and plot twist and conflict and resolution will come into play when and how it should. What is meant for you will not pass you by. Whether or not you wish on stars for it.
*Or this morning, technically, but I’d be damned if I was done sleeping, so it absolutely counted.
Adventures of an Anglaise 
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